I spent my pre-teen years moving from place to place. From Miramar to Coral Gables, I must have lived everywhere in South Florida, south of Hollywood.
Probably the best neighborhood I ever lived in was in Coral Way. Near the Planetarium, I had family on the next block. But they also did Halloween up right there. All the houses gave candy. All the kids dressed up. And all the older kids caused serious mischief. In Miami, in the Cuban neighborhoods, traditional Halloween shenanigans are still a right of passage. The egg throwing battlefields are especially hazardous to your health. These mofo's bury the eggs for a month for EXTRA STENCH. Or worse yet, they freeze them for extra hard-hitting stopping power.
I remember one Halloween, my neighbor, a rowdy, yet friendless, teenage boy named Mike, drafted me into his egg throwing crusade. We weren't too bright. We tossed eggs from the side of the road. In front of our houses. Most of the cars in Coral Way and Coral gables, were fancy current year models, BMW's and whatever was NEW back then. After being egged they'd just keep on driving, it's all in good fun after all, right? And to find the culprits in pitch black might prove difficult. On that night Mike got sight of a Porsche and unleashed hell on it. The Porsche screeched to a complete halt and went into reverse. At this point we took off running from the backyard to the front yard at full speed. My Dracula cape flapping in the wind.
<-----That's not me. But you can only imagine how retarded I must have looked at age 8. Running into the cover of darkness, With a black and red cape flapping in the wind. While I had my reservations on Mike's planning. I had no choice now. I would have to follow Mike into Hell if he so desired. But instead he headed for safety. He ran all the way home. Past both our mothers in the patio And Hid under his bed. And I hit there with him, cowering like Shaggy and Scooby Doo.
The Porsche owner was young and he was fast. he kept up with us most of the way. And I'm pretty sure he saw us duck into Mike's House. But when he reached the patio where our mother's sat, Mike's mother assured us, they had no children. I still remember the Porsche driver's booming voice as it echoed throughout the house.
"I'm Gonna Call the police on your Bastard Children. They Egged my Porsche, My Porsche!"
But I digress, my point was Halloween was exciting there. it was good to be a kid in those days and not be dragged to some stupid mall to ask for candy. And the starting palace for Halloween shenanigans, was La Casa De Los Trucos. It was the mythical Shangri-lah every kid talked about. it's where you just HAD to get your costume. Sure you could just go to KMART and buy a ten dollar flammable piece of plastic to drape over your body. Or you can go to La Casa De Los Trucos and get some authentic shit.
Of course as time went by, I forgot about the place, and they seemed to have closed. But truthfully they just changed locations. This year thanks to some local TV commercials, I realized they were still in business and sought them out.
They are now on Calle Ocho and have been there for years. The first thing that struck me odd was that Calle Ocho has a Walk Of Fame. I must not have noticed or cared about it before. Here is one such star.
This is their original building at this location. I vaguely remember it. Which they closed and now use strictly as a warehouse.
This is some of the neat artwork on the shutters of the warehouse.
This is the front of the actual building and the signage surrounding it.
Inside there was tons of teenage cuban jailbait trying on the Sexy ____ costume. the sexy robin Hood, the Sexy Nurse, the sexy witch, the sexy Flintstone.
There's mom's encouraging them like only cuban moms do.
"yes mijita, these assless fishnet leggings would look so Cute on You!"
There were rows and rows of masks.
They also had these awesome Lucha Libre masks.
They even had NACHOOOO LIBRE!
Were I a more daring man, I'd embarrass myself and my child trick or treating as Nacho.
Ally had loads of fun trying on hats and costumes.
I think, she's campaigning for McCain!
But really she just wanted to be an elephant. Dumb democrats lost another one. Who really wants to dress up like a Jackass?
I moved on to the Adult Costume area! Where I found these gems.
A priest with a boner! I'm already going to hell. Let's not anger the pope.
Place Breasts here! I think I found my costume. Who wants a FREE Mammogram!???
I could go on with the costumes. But the place is renown for its trucos. It's tricks. I spent a half hour watching Ally fall for numerous has been old jokes, joy buzzers, fake insects, things that sprung out, and exploded. The man behind the counter was gracious enough to demonstrate over a dozen tricks. And Ally was such a willing foil.
We left there with an Exploding cigarette box trick to pull on Grandma. I'll let you know if she disowns us later.
And this innocent jar of jelly beans.
Open the lid and.....
Bwhahahahaah!
We've already pulled that one on a half dozen people.
She's such an awesome prankster, she sets them up like this..
"You want some jelly beans? Here you go, Don't eat them all okay!?"
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